Can you tell me?

Working steadily, diligently, relentlessly
Hoping for the best.
Praying for my future everyday
Through small print and tests.
Rushing swells of anxiety mount within my chest...
Confidence rests on commentary
Judging performance sets.

Emotions run high and the anxiety is hell.
It cuts me out of my life sometimes
Where I am separate from my self.
I disengage with the bell.
All I wanna do is yell.

Overwhelmed with the forces
I have no rhyme or reason
Like this letter to myself;
I am in drowning in my choices.

Don't forget the prestige my darling
And don't forget your agenda to the cause
Hey what about your little girl
And don't you have a relationship at odds?

So paint a big red smile around my tight-lipped mouth
Hang across my neck a yellow bow,
Now pull just a little too tight,
And smack a rubber ball on my nose.
I have orange shoes ten times too big
Adorning my size seven toes.
And strap an elephant on my back
You don't wanna miss this show.

Every reason for pursuing
For sacrificing and ensuing
Is for the gift of god's creation
I am forever indebted to committing.

How do I give her the tools for learning
For being a woman in this society
That says you are only half the man
When society loathes a 'minority'.

She will question where she comes from,
Whether she is really this or that.
She will grapple with her identity
And the line between thin and fat.

What is acceptable and what is not.
What she wants to do and what she ought.
To be reflexive in her thought.
To conform or to fight
To use clarity and insight
To cherish and protect her rights.
To love herself enough to take care of herself.

I don't know, I don't know.

Give me a set of tools
To carve out a future for her
A philosophy for life
An attitude to win her.
Give me the grace of knowledge
The gentle guidance to lead
Give me the secret of shades
The tools for planting seeds.

To love herself, to take care of herself.
To love herself, to take care of herself
In this world of less than perfect.